It’s so easy to leave things unsaid. Whether it’s a conviction, a declaration of love, a lingering question, or a new idea, we often fail to speak up. Why? What stands in the way of engaging in courageous conversations?
Elena Armijo recently spoke with entrepreneur, coach, educator, and executive of Crumbine Consulting, Aisha Crumbine. They met during a certified Dare to Lead training by Brené Brown and became fast friends. Together, they uncover the catalytic power of courage in your life, your relationships, and your future.
Choosing Courage: Identify Your Pillars and Ask Self-Reflective Questions
Discomfort is often the motivator for change. Aisha knows this very well. Her decision to start Crumbine Consulting came from a simple thought she had as she was driving home from work: “This cannot be all there is.”
This caused her to ask herself four key questions that were rooted in her Four Pillars. These Four Pillars are values that we should all keep in mind.
- Clarity – Aisha defined it best: “We clear out all the crap to see the essentials.” Oftentimes, we get distracted by details, but in order to lead well, we need to identify our core.
- Connection – People thrive when they are connected, but that connection must be both inward and outward. You must be connected with yourself so you can self-evaluate, and be connected with others so you can uplift and embolden them.
- Creativity – Regardless of who you are, if you aren’t creating, you will find something vital is missing from your life.
- Courage – This is the foundation. Without courage, you cannot have clarity about your life, connect with yourself and others, or create what you need to add to the world.
These four core values prompted Aisha to ask herself four corresponding questions that are essential for anyone who wants to expand their horizons and reach the next level.
- What do I really, really love to do?
- What am I insanely good at for no reason?
- What would I be excited to do, even if nobody paid me?
- Who’s going to pay me to do it?
The Disruption: Asking herself these questions and being guided by her Four Pillars led Aisha to the decision that she admits she had run from for a long time: start her own business.
Crumbine Consulting helps parents choose the right schools for their kids. Aisha’s natural elegance, grace, and peace enable her to step into any situation and bring clarity and stability, and her background in education has given her experience, so she can help others thrive.
Uniquely Yours: Finding Your Voice
As outspoken as Aisha is, you would think she has always had a bold voice, but she admits that it took her some time to find it. Being courageous is something that she has learned and practices every day.
Being brave requires that you step out of your comfort zone. However, sometimes, the fear of stepping out of your comfort zone feels similar to stepping into a situation where you are out of alignment with who you are. Distinguishing between the two requires recognizing what your “gremlins” are saying and what your gut is saying.
What is a gremlin? “It’s the voice in your head when you have the choice to be brave or not,” Aisha says. “It’s the voice that says, ‘What makes you think you can be an entrepreneur? What makes you think they’re going to hire you? People aren’t going to pay you that kind of money.’”
Nevertheless, your gremlins do not have to have the last word. You can reprogram them by affirming yourself with truths that speak purpose, grace, and bravery into your life. In order to thrive, you must find your own voice and reprogram these voices of self-doubt, but you also need external support from others who uplift you.
For Aisha, the beauty of it all is in helping people clarify their unique gifts, connect with themselves and others, create a space for themselves, and live a courageous life.
Weekly Coaching Tip
You know that moment when you’re in a room full of executives, you’re sitting at the table, your hands are sweating, and you want to say something, but you’re afraid? Fear clouds your mind with intrusive thoughts like, “What are people going to say? Will people make fun of me? What if they shut me down?”
Then, the moment passes, and you miss the opportunity.
What will it take to engage in courageous conversations every day? What is required to seize those moments instead of letting them pass by?
- Figure out what you cannot live without saying. Ask yourself, “If I were to walk away today and never be heard from again, what's the one thing that I want people to hear from me in this conversation?”
- Breathe. Give yourself space to quiet those fears and gain clarity, so you can speak with confidence.
- Practice. Every time you show up and speak up, it’s easier to be bold.
Comment below about a time when you’ve engaged in a courageous conversation!
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This podcast was produced by the following amazing team:
John Biethan, President of Imagine Podcasting
Sam De Santo, Creative Director
Rye Taylor, Podcast Design Strategist & Producer
Meg McCarley, Brand Designer & Social Media Manager
Raejan Noh, Business Writer